Mark Twain said, “Love: The irresistable desire to be irresistibly desired.”
Twain’s thoughts sum up the reality of what we all want to feel.
We want to feel wanted, needed and cherished by the people we love the most. Everybody wants to feel the validation they deserve, and true love gives us that.
Right now, in this moment, I know I am 110% completely in love. I have met the love of my life, and I fall in love with him more and more every single time I look at him.
Granted he is not perfect, nobody really is. We all have ideas of what we want the outcome of something to be before it happens, and sometimes struggle to remember our significant other can’t read our minds. At least I do anyway.
It is our job as lovers to remember each and every day that our partner longs to be desired as strongly as we do.
We must take this into account before starting a petty argument or doing something to hurt their feelings. They want the same love that we do, and we must give them the validation they need to feel desired.
Love is a powerful force, and I don’t know about you, but I always find my guy irresistable.
“The girl with the long dreads who slept with whomever she chose, that being her own declaration of control over her body, was there.”
-Ta-Nehisi Coates, Between the World and Me
We live in a time where women are slut shamed. A time where women who choose to flaunt and share their own bodies are ridiculed.
From the standpoint of a young woman, I can see how some of the ridicule might stem from jealousy. Young women like me often struggle with self-love and self-confience, and seeing women embrace themselves so publically can seem threatening.
In the eyes of the expressive woman herself, I feel empowerment. I feel strength and confidence, all coming from a genuine place of hard work and positive results.
I do not think anyone has the right to judge others based on what they do with their bodies, though it is difficult to stay true to this mindset.
Everyone holds different beliefs, and one might stand strong in their belief that women are to carry themselves with respect and grace, and that they are not free to be pleasing to the eyes of men.
My advice to ALL women who feel self-concious and judged based on ridicule and judgement from both men, women and social media is this: block it out. Keep the end goal in mind, that goal being your personal health and happiness.
At the end of the day, how you perceive yourself is the only thing that can haunt you.
I am rounding the corner of my second semester at college, and the time could not be passing any slower.
Some of my friends are already in route home, and I am stuck here for 20 more days. I still have two presentations, one paper, one essay and two finals to conquer before my summer begins.
I need a break.
A break from stuffing my head with equations and information only to spit everything back out onto a paper in order to “assess my academic abilities.”
How do I take a break?
I work out. I journal. I read.
But no about of hour long breaks will ever be able to distract me from how close the summer is.
I can almost feel the movement of the ocean’s waves touching my fingertips as the warm breeze kisses my skin.
I can imagine myself taking in the rays of the sun while immersing myself in an entirely different world through an endless lists of novels.
In 20 days I will be able to do the things that make me happy, and have a 3 month break from the intimidating and dense expectations that will shape my future.
We live in a world where all we do is compare ourselves to others.
In our body, our wealth, our relationships & our social lives, we do nothing but compare.
But once you learn to compare yourself to only who you used to be will you realize you are doing great.
You have reached goals and made progress.
You have pushed through various obstacles and carried yourself.
You are the only person you have to make yourself proud of.
Someone can tell you that you aren’t good enough, but they can’t make you hear it or believe it.
Be strong enough to push that negativity and comparison aside, and strive to be the best version of yourself the world has ever seen.
It’s hard to watch someone you love be trapped in a reoccurring, toxic cycle.
When they get their feet out of the water, they slip on the liquid they dispersed when they popped the bubble, and fall right back into the hell hole.
You want to shake them.
You want to scream into their hearts: “You are great. You are loved. You deserve to be adored.”
Promises are made for things to get better, and they do for a while. But only until something triggers another insensitive comment and the tears start streaming time and time again.
There is no escaping a toxic relationship without extreme force and an instant of clarity.
All it takes is one spot of hope to motive action to be taken.
And if you miss that chance, you are fed straight back into your neverending, lifeless fate.
“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.”
This quote resinates with me all too well. I keep telling myself I still have time to grow up, to take action, and to figure out who I am.
But the truth is, there is never enough time.
The sooner I get started taking action and making something of myself, the sooner I will become who I am destined to be. Once I stop being lazy and waiting for the big push that I suspect life is going to give me, I will have an all around better attitude and more genuine happiness.
I will be able to cope with things better based on the habits I develop, and I will be able to help others with their struggles because I had the courage and motivation to try and conquer mine.
I will become a better version of myself than I am today.
Like they say, every relationship has its ups and downs.
But at what point do the downs begin to outweigh the ups?
One second, we are happy as can be, cuddles all night with lots of laughter and kisses and teasing. And the very next, I am kicking him out of the house.
It is perhaps because we are too comfortable? Are we able to easily take out our pain and angst on each other because we know that neither of us will ever leave? (Although he has three times before)
I just do not get how one relationship can be so bipolar, for lack of a better word.
At what point are the tears and the okay-ish nights ever going to make me strong enough to get fed up and walk away?
The ups and the downs are not few and far between, but those are rather the perfect moments.
In my head, I set my expectations high. I want my life to be a novel. I want the passion that lies between the pages of my favorite book to somehow speak to him, to make him into a more emotional and appreciative man.
But my life isn’t a JoJo Moyes or Nicholas Sparks story.
It is life. It is real.
The ups & the downs are signals for what is yet to come in our future…