Today is August 1st, which means I leave for college in exactly 22 days. It feels like just yesterday I was entering high school as a freshman, but now I am a freshman in college. Where did the time go?
So many things have changed over the course of the last four years that I am amazed at the person I am today. My groups of friends have changed and I left high school with the most amazing group of friends that is ever to exist. I confirmed that my passion for writing was still alive in me and that I had a desire to further my career in that field. I became part of a never ending sisterhood that made me into the woman that I am today as well as connected with many teachers who supported me in my journey. I watched my aunts struggle with drug addictions and even took in my cousins for over a month when my aunt had to return to rehab. I fell in love and had my heart broken, and I still don’t think that the past four years have been the hardest parts of my life even though in the moment they really left like it.
I think that most of the young adults making the same transition that I am this month will tell you that they are nervous. I know that there are many people who are in the same tough relationship situation as me and who did not end up at their first choice of college. One thing that I have learned through this process is that my character has been tested. I will admit that I have struggled greatly during this entire process and I will continue to do so until the transition is over. I know that letting go of Matt with break me in two but I have to remain positive and not let myself sink back into the depression that consumed me the last time. Luckily this time I have my roommate to help me get through it and I will be on track to starting over at college and have other things to distract me.
I hope that the month of August isn’t too hard on me because my heart can only handle so much. I don’t know how to handle all of the changes that are fastly approaching. I don’t think God gave me the ability to handle all of the hardships he put in my life. I don’t know where the time has gone but somewhere along the way I forgot to love myself and starting letting the attention and approval of boys control my happiness. I need to realize that I am the only person who can make myself happy and use college as my way to become more comfortable with who I am.