Luckily, I woke up this morning around 9 am which may seem early, but is actually really late considering the amount of people that are staying in this house. I was happily greated with homemade waffles and fresh fruit in celebration of the 4th of July. It was a wonderful way to start my day.
It wasn’t an ideal beach day, but the rain held off long enough for us to get in a good amount of time at the beach. Also, I finished the book I started yesterday and was able to start another, so I was happy. Once the clouds began to seep in and the day escaped us, we resided back in the house for a cook out beause after all, what’s 4th of July without a cook out? My uncle may have made the entrie complex stink of grill fumes, but the food sure was delicious.
The rain continued to trickle down, but my cousin and I were determined to get out of the house, so we went to the boardwalk to do a little browsing. I already knew I wanted to get something special for Matt and I, so I seized the opportunity. I bought two leather bracelets, a plain one for him and a braided one for me, and got the coordinates of where we first met and where it all began engraved on them. I plan on giving them to him when he comes down later this week to help ease the tensions that have been rising between us. I could not be more proud of his accomplishments on the soccer field, but because of their ranking in the tournament he is currently 5 states away playing in, he will be leaving me two more times this summer to play, flying to Colorado and Texas for about 2 and a half weeks total. Normally this wouldn’t be such a big deal to me, but with college quickly approaching I feel as if we are in a time crunch, like this summer marks the end of what has been over two and half years of a crazy love story that I never want to end.
Anyway, the rain continued, as did our night. Ashley and I set out to buy string at the store and she kindly spent an hour giving me a hair wrap in my two feet long hair. Even after the long time it took, the rain was still going, but as they say, the show must go on. So at 10 o’clock we ventured to the beach to enjoy the annual 4th of July fireworks that launch from the barge in the ocean. The site of fireworks always amazes me, but tonight it had me feeling different. As the beautiful lights exploded in the sky and slowly trickled down before fading out, thoughts of longing filled my head. All I want is more time with Matt. I feel as if the end of this summer is somehow an unspoken bond that will be deteriorated by the pressures that are to come in college. I want more than anything for Matt to be a part of my life forever, but I know that the chances of that are very slim. I used to truely believe that we could face anything, but the struggles that we have encountered in the last year alone has left me doubting us. What if we grow apart? I can’t imagine him being a stranger to me. It’s too strange to think about. I’m well aware that everything is about to change, but I just wish that time would slow down so that I could hold him in my arms for a little while longer. Time is all I wish for.